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I'm Happy, You're Happy....but What Is Happiness?

Author: RickLondon
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A female friend sent me a private message not long ago and asked me my secret to happiness. There was a long pause. She typed the sound (in text) of the "Jeopardy" theme song in between final jeopardy as if I were running out of time for the answer.

Growing up, I really never remember people seeking me out for my grand sense of humor or light-heartedness. I was a mixed up kid like so many children of the '60's and carried a good bit of that rebellious baggage with me into adulthood. Maybe therapy was a good thing. I learned my boundaries and limitations. I could not change the world. I could barely change me. Learning those limitations makes life simpler. And the simpler I am, the happier. Controvery used to appeal to me. It does no longer.

As in Kafka's memorable opening line in Anna Karinina "All happy families are alike. Each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way". We had our own way of being unhappy. And if someone tried to change that status quo it was considered "making waves". Victim mentality was a good thing. People felt sympathy. It was also a very unhealthy thing, fueled with a good bit of dysfunction. But I feel grateful to have experienced it and moved on, learned from it, and possibly won't repeat it.

Happiness, to me, if there is such a thing, is really getting down to basics. By basics I mean go as far back as The U.S. Constitution "...and the pursuit of happiness" which is actually written by these stern men with no smiles, at least not in their renderings, but they knew the importance of it.

Shakespeare, like many writers, instinctively knew how important it was to be true to oneself. He coined the phrase "To thine own self be true". He didn't say that just to show off. He was providing years of therapy into one sentence. If one is true to oneself, the amount of money, fame, or any other trappings don't mean a thing.

Given these facts, let's count how many ways we compromise our happiness, or make certain it does not happen. We take jobs which are terrible but pay well. We do not like our co-workers and they do not like us. We do not like our boss and he does not like us either. We get married and have kids out of peer pressure. All our friends and associates did it, but we were not ready, or the opposite. We decided not to get married as we grew up in an unhappy home, and we would "show our parents with sweet revenge" (That was my modus operandi for many years). Suddenly it occurred to me they didn't care what I did as long as I was in the pursuit of happiness. Besides, they were deceased. Or we go past our credit card limit paying astronomical interest for years to come, just to impress someone who never really cared in the first place. We forgot, what happiness we do get, generally comes from within.

I learned that thought the book was great, never to take "Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned In Kindergarten" too literally. Yes, it offered some pragmatic lessons and great analogies, but the most powerful lessons I have learned, to transcend from sadness and depression, have been mistakes made in adulthood. I make less of them now, but I still make them. I don't get all upset when I do. I realize there is a lesson about to be learned.

"It's a process, Doc!", explaimed gangster Robert DeNiro to Billy Crystal in the hilarious movie "Analyze That". He was talking about recovery from a bad childhood (Crystal was the psychiatrist who ended up getting more help from DeNiro). It is a movie worth seeing, not just because of the great comedy, but because of the analogies they represent regardingreal life and painful growth and change.

Simple is good. Complex is not so good. It is human nature to like drama. Leave it for the movies. Live your life more simply and experience more happiness. It is really that simple. Sounds cliche but I can guarantee you, in my half-century here on earth, I have an inkling of wisdom in that area.

Don't quit your day job, but learn new subjects. Start a hobby. It might turn into a business one day. You never know. That is what happened to me. I started creating cartoons as a hobby, never thinking in a million years it would be more than a hobby. Ten years later it is the largest offbeat cartoon website on the Internet, Londons Times Cartoons with ten niche and superstore gift shops, and over 100,000 funny gifts and collectibles bearing our cartoon images. It was only because I was true to myself. I no longer have or want my day job, thank you very much.

I am not saying one has to work in the world of cartooning or humor to be happy. But it doesn't hurt to expose oneself to it.

Mom discovered she had leukemia in 1995. I began researching and found a book by retired surgeon Dr. Bernie Siegel who wrote a best-seller in the 1980's, Love, Laughter, And Healing. He had incurable brain cancer and exposed himself to many comedy movies, videos, cartoons, books, etc. He didn't know if it would help heal him, but he knew he would at least get to laugh in his final days. Within a few years, the cancer was in remission and he still is alive and writing two decades later. I have talked to him several times on the phone, when mom was sick, and he gave me some direction as to what life is about. I truly believe the humor had much to do with her attitude and longetivity. (she outlived a few of her doctors).

Aside from a Gary Larson Far Side exhibit about a decade earlier, that may have had the most impact on my launching of my cartoon site, which lures 4000 vistitors per hour and my webstores which do a brisk business. My friends tell me they visit them often and it helps them in their daily lives. Whether this is true or not, I like to think it is, and it helps me in developing my own feelings of joy.

Giving the gift of laughter is kind of like Passing It Forward. It is contagious and people like being around you. Give it a try. It can be a gift, a joke, a story, or all of the above.

About the Author

The Internet's most popular offbeat cartoon is Londons Times www.londonstimes.us by Rick London. He also has numerous cartoon funny gift shops which he feels help spread happiness One of Rick's Largest Funny Store is is Top Cartoonist Rick London Shares Ways To Become Happier