Romantic Ideas For Chronically Ill Women To Romance Her Husband

The words "hot and bothered" may spark images of twisted sheets and breathlessly reaching out to the one you love for most people. But if you have a chronic illness, "hot" likely refers to a thyroid condition, night sweats, or a heating pad on high. "Bothered" is everything else that happens in bed. Like achy joints that pop when you roll over, a cat that insists on sleeping on your leg, or a spouse who snores through thunder and lightening. Romance may be hard to find in your home!

Nearly 1 in 2 people live with a chronic illness in the U.S. which means that a lot of marriages are disrupted by this uninvited third party of illness, often including mental illness as well. Seventy-five percent of marriages end in divorce. But romantic ideas don't have to be used just on Valentine's Day.

So! How do you get the spark back? Here are some creative romantic gift ideas and ways to say, "I love you."

You have to give it your best effort and avoid excuses. "I'm so tired and had such a hard day. I feel terrible." I've said them all so I understand. Unfortunately the circumstances won't likely change, so you have to change your attitude in order to have the benefit of getting to the joy of romance. Let yourself relax and push past the pain and see if you can forget a good chunk of it. Distraction can be a wonderful thing.

Prioritize romance. Cleaning the house all day Saturday and then claiming you're "just too tired" can make your spouse feel that he isn't as important as your own agenda. Get some rest so you can at least have a decent conversation without falling asleep.

Show some enthusiasm for getting to spend a romantic evening with your loved one. Even if it's just a nice dinner out, don't say, "I'm feeling terrible, but I really wanted to do this for you." (Hint: that won't turn him or her on!) Flirt a little bit. Talk about some fun times you've had or dreams you'd still like to pursue. Give yourself the gift of not talking about your illness the entire night.

You don't have to write romantic love poems. Just put together a mini-album of your favorite photos and include notes about your memories and how much he means to you.

Surely your spouse does some things for you without complain. Does he bring home your favorite ice cream? Throw in a load of laundry? Never expect you to iron or serve a five course meal? Write down all of the things you notice he does that you don't usually thank him for and give it to him as a special appreciation note.

Women, let's get real. Regardless of your weight, get over feeling self-conscious and buy some underwear from a store that doesn't also sell tires.

Learn to text message with your phone and send him a messge that says something out of character for you. Be outrageously romantic, just make sure you send it to the right person in your phone book!

Give him a home-made coupon for something he would like but doesn't splurge on very often such as, "Good for 5 guilt-free hours with your friends watching football." Avoid making him feel guilty whenever he wants to do something you can participate in (like going hiking or riding a roller coaster.)

There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. But a marriage where both people are involved in keeping it alive, despite the existence of a chronic illness, can be one of the most rewarding joys in your life. Romance comes in many forms. I loved my husband more than ever the night I literally could not move because of a rheumatoid arthritis flare. I "slept" sitting on the couch and he slept on the floor beside the couch to comfort me every time I moved and screamed from the pain.

Love comes in many forms. One of the books I've bought all the couples in my life is "Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs" by Emerson Eggerichs. Men often feel loved when they are respected, women want to feel loved. Usually we are offering our spouse what we wan't, not what they need. Being aware of all of the little things we do each day that give one another love and respect, add up to romance when you least expect it.

About the Author

Receive 40 pages of "Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend" by Lisa Copen when you subscribe HopeNotes invisible illness ezine at Rest Ministries. Lisa is the founder of Invisible Illness Awareness Week

---

Comments

No comments posted.

Add Comment

You do not have permission to comment. If you log in, you may be able to comment.

latest articles from LisaCopen

1: 5 Ways to Get Rid of Some Chronic Pain Today
2: 10 Tips to Having an Illness Support Group that Isn't Depressing
3: 8 Secrets Why You Shouldn't Be Attending an Illness Support Group
4: Living with Invisible Illness: 5 Ways to Get Over Aggravations
5: Illness And Anger: 3 Steps To Avoid The Spiritual Pitfalls
6: 7 Twenty-minute Book Marketing Tips That Will Sell Books
7: 6 Ways Your Church Can Minister To The Chronically Ill
8: How To Design An Adoption Scrapbook For Your Child
9: How To Be Romantic To Your Chronically Ill Wife
10: Create A Professional Adoption Scrapbook Album Fast

Top ten popular articles about Diseases and Conditions

1: UV Air Purifiers/Sanitizers Reduce Risk of Heart Damage Caused by Secondhand Smoke
2: Treatment of Erectile Dysfunction
3: My Personal Favorite, The Colonoskopy!
4: What Should I Do If My Kid Suffers From Asthma?
5: Knowing What Are The Different Cardiac Asthma Facts To Save Your From Asthma Attacks
6: Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Does the Law of Attraction apply?
7: Temporomandibular Joint Syndrome TMJ
8: Fecal Incontinence Causes
9: Autism - It May Not Be A Living Nightmare But Is A Reason To Worry
10: Obesity Is A Social Contagion, Say Experts: Could Texas Be Spreading The Disease Of Fat?
Diseases and Conditions

Traslate your website with this tool