8 Secrets Why You Shouldn't Be Attending an Illness Support Group

When you first received the diagnosis of your illness, the odds are that many people around you, perhaps even your doctor, reommended a support group. Reseach has studied the impact support groups have on how well one copes with disease, and it is positive. However, if you have no desire to attend a support group, recognize that it is not uncommon. As with any kind of support group, some support groups you will connect with well and others won't be a good fit. Don't jump to the conclusion that all support groups are the same.

But the question still arises. Regardless of whether you are looking for a colon cancer support group or a endometriosis support group, the real question may be, do you really need a support group at this time in your life? Many changes occur while we live decades with illness and there are seasons in our life when an illness support group may hold our very best of friends, and other times when we have no need to attend whatsoever.

Here are eight signs that you may not need a support group right now:

1. You are handling the day-to-day aspects of living with illness with ease. You don't even have time to analyze how you are coping with your illness because you're simply too busy living life.

2. You are surrounded by a group of people like friends or family members who are a good influence on you. They understand that you are making a choice to live the best you can despite your daily pain and they can appreciate that.

3. You don't feel anger, bitterness or resentment toward people who are physically healthy. You are able to have relationships without comparing your abilities (or lack of) to others.

4. You can easily carry on conversations without mentioning your illness. You don't feel it's such an integral part of who you are that you need to tell every stranger you meet about your disease.

5. You don't gaze at others with envy. You feel you have risen above the exasperation of seeing healthy people taking their health for granted.

6. You find that sitting around talking about your illness with others at a support group is more depressing than refreshing. You leave your meetings feeling worse than when you came.

7. You feel comfortable researching symptoms or making calls to find the information you need in order to be a good advocate for your health and illness.

8. You have formed a friendship with at least one other person who has an illness. It's important for you to have someone with whom you can vent openly and share your vulnerabilities with in regard to how you live and cope with illness. And contributing your own ideas with another person who understands the details and "language" of illness will be helpful too.

If you could relate with all of the signs above, chances are that you don't need a support group at this time in your life. But guess what? You may be an excellent leader of an illness support group. All of the signs above that explain your coping skills, can be part of your outline to write a proposal for starting up a support group.

The most thriving support groups are those which are led by people who have conquered the daily exasperation and bitterness that arise during the first years of a diagnosis. Since you have dealt with all of the emotional ups and downs, a support group of individuals still feeling under attack would benefit from your knowledge and understanding.

If the idea of leading a support group doesn't sound appealing right now, that's fine too! Go have fun with any activity you feel passionate about. Just remember, there are remarkable people in support groups who will be there to offer comfort when you find you need it.

About the Author

Get a free download of 200 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend from "Beyond Casseroles" by Lisa Copen when you subscribe to HopeNotes invisible illness ezine at Rest Ministries. Lisa is the founder of Invisible Illness Awareness

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